Have you ever found yourself distracted from listening? Perhaps some precarious things happened.
Maybe you can relate to this. Some neighborhood kids came by to see if you want to enroll your pooch in the “Doggie Day Spa.” It’s not until later that you realize you said yes to much more than a simple bath and brush out. The rush to get back to completing a task kept you from the art of listening. Instead you’re enjoying some post modern art on your pooch.
Next time those entrepreneurial kids come knocking at your door and Rover is stinky, you’ll make sure to listen closely to what each spa package offers.
Perhaps you can identify with this one. At the Dry Cleaners you realize that your favorite duds have shrunk three sizes. As you flashback to an odd conversation including hot water and stain removers, you realize something went wildly awry in the listening and communication department.
In search of being my best human self, a better entrepreneur, friend and family member, I’ve been stewing over the ways in which we can improve our listening skills. We’ve all experienced something like this because we’re human and yet I think this topic is worthwhile.
Just recently I was humbled as I became lost en route to an important appointment. Yes, I was busted for not listening as I should. Despite being given great directions, I thought to myself, no worries. I’ll simply rely on the GPS for a friendly fallback. Doh! Well guess what? This place was off the grid. Because I hadn’t listened intently, I found myself driving around in circles in frustration. Of course, now I’m turning it into fodder because if my human frailty can assist you in anyway, I’m happy to assist!
Listening is much deeper than hearing.
The best business happens when the needs, wants and desires are met– when customers feel heard. The same holds true in our relationships.
Listening is about staying alert to what’s going on and to what matters not only to us, but those we serve.
Listening requires processing. Sometimes that processing includes the emotions of those to whom we are listening and those to whom we are communicating.
Communication train wrecks occur when we’re in a hurry to be heard instead of hearing out what’s happening. Often they are linked to what I call the “tyranny of urgency.” We get ourselves in a hurry to accomplish so much that we miss out on crucial conversations and observations that had we paused long enough– we would have gleaned valuable information to propel a mutual agenda forward.
To increase our artistry in listening, let’s ask ourselves the following questions:
- Do I listen to others the way I want to be listened to?
- Am I marketing an idea or am I helping someone overcome a specific problem?
- Am I adding value in this communication interchange?
Listening is a gift we give. Being heard is what we most crave. Most of us are done with being a number. We want interaction that’s not superficial. We desire to be understood.
Chime in. We’re all ears! 😉
In the comments below please share the last time you were the recipient or giver in the art of listening? What was it like to be heard or to listen to someone intently? What did this experience do for you and /or your fellow human? Tell us about it!
I rarely have that problem because I am an auditory/kinesthetic person. This means that I favour the hearing and feeling channels of processing information much more than the visual channel. So sounds and feelings mean much more to me than pictures or images and I concentrate my attention on what is being said and how it makes me feel rather than what something looks like. This was very problematic in school because the mode of teaching then was predominately visual and that did not really mean much to me. I am also a bit slow to process information at times, because I tend to remember the words and wait for the feelings evoked to wash through my body, before I can make sense of the information. Other people don’t understand this and I have offended many people unintentionally. When I got the news that my best friend’s mother has passed away I just went numb for the day. My mother was so offended that I did not call her immediately that she abused me at the funeral. But people who use these channels to process information tend to remember better, which may explain my very accurate long memory. Thanks for this post.
Nicole, thank you for sharing your deep insight. It’s incredibly valuable to share this with the world.