Category Archives: Personal Growth

Cheers to the Lessons of 2017

2017 was not the banner year I had planned for. Quite frankly, it’s been less than stellar and yet it’s soaring highs cannot be overlooked. It’s lessons remain powerful. When so much does not make sense, I reach for three things, God, humor and a bottle of tequila. No, actually the third is friendship. I’m kidding about the tequila. 🙂

Lesson: Avoid the Status Quo

Last January my husband and I bought raw land in the Sierra Madre mountains of beautiful Mexico. I believe the proper word for this land is a “farm”. Yes, folks, we bought the farm! 😉  In fact, we grew a bumper crop of organic corn. I mentioned “we”, but honestly I had very little to do with its productivity. Consider me “quality control”. You see, I taste tested the end product, and you know what? It was a great success. We’ve concluded that this fertile soil and land that rested for over 20 years needs something more. We’re convinced that it’s simply not more corn, but rather more variety and wisdom because honestly, we’re learning as we go.

While we are learning from the environment, our neighbors, and experts, there is this place in our hearts that beckons us to listen more closely. The message is this: the current status quo of our farming style and real abundance must be challenged. And so, we’re humbling ourselves to the weeds that choke out life because our vision includes growing more than just plants.

Lesson: People Don’t Mean to Let you Down so Love Them Anyway

Challenging times happen. While you may be the one who often times shows up for others, it’s possible others may not show up the same way. However, it’s important to know the law of reciprocity is still at work! It simply shows up in different ways.

 

In the past year, I endured tumultuous times. Often, the people who encouraged or consoled me most were ones with whom I’d had much of a lasting relationship.  Yet, they were the ones whom God sent to comfort me. They are the gifts I will treasure from this year. The words they spoke or wrote to me, the hugs shared, the smiles; these were true gifts of human kindness. Kindness that is deeply appreciated. Therefore, I’m choosing to give space in my heart to those who could not show up, or perhaps didn’t know how to show up when I needed them most. These are expectations that are often unfair to place on another. The lesson I’ve learned this year, is to love what’s provided for me in kindness through those I least expect while still loving those who let me down. Because in the end, I’m human too.

Lesson: We are Stronger than We Realize

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Years ago I remember reading The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. These are some of the words that stuck:

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

Much of last year was refining, deepening and strengthening me. It was a hellacious year, and yet it’s been a year of beauty and growth.

Deep sorrow and pain were felt and released to a God who loves us so.

I risked looking a fool for the adventure of being alive.

I kept good company with myself and other strong beings overcoming life’s obstacles.

In short, I’ll continue leaning into gratitude, holding onto humor, and loving imperfectly perfect humans we call friends.

Will you join me?

Cheers to 2017! And here’s to 2018!

Dr. Paige Hunter

Chime In!

I sincerely want to hear from you! What one very valuable lesson or lessons did you live out this past year? I want to know! Anything you plan to do differently in the upcoming year?

 

The Beauty of Failure

It may seem counter intuitive to find beauty in failure, right? It’s amazing that the world we live in highlights big wins- you know, the glamorous side of success. Here’s to being encouraged to celebrate what goes on behind our failures.  In whatever realm of life, failure points out vulnerabilities. Being vulnerable whether in a business endeavor or a romantic relationship doesn’t feel comfortable; nor should it.

Being uncomfortable is what pushes us to make a decision: do something different, try to maintain the status quo or scrap what makes us uncomfortable. By failing and being uncomfortable, fringe benefits begin to accrue.

Failure brings clarity.

You’ve heard it said before. Success leaves clues. Well guess what?

Failure leaves clues. Let’s use them to become more clear.

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If hindsight is 20/20, then take time to reflect. Ask yourself questions. If your an entrepreneur, you might ask yourself the following: Was I working with the correct people? How can I improve my business skills? How do I handle my weaknesses? How can I better lead myself and others to overcome?

Feeling a bit stuck in your health journey? Investigate. What if one very powerful revelation can help move you forward again? Try this. Fill-in-the-blank to get clarity. “The most important thing I should do to improve my health is…”  Courage cultivates clarity. Having the courage to ask tough questions or be nakedly honest can set aside the stress of failure and instead, provide positive lessons.

Failure is inevitable.

Everybody does it. Yes, we all fail. So why does it need to become a big deal? It’s doesn’t. The trick is to fail fast, and not slop around in it. Rather, we can revel in the ability to recreate a more desirable outcome.

Ever witness a child learning to walk and then trip and plummet to the ground and then laugh at the predicament?  We should take good notes! When this child is given a little encouragement he or she stands tall and begins walking like a little drunken sailor with bright eyes and a wide smile. The secret is to act as if a fall or failure is simply a rite of passage to the results we desire.

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Perspective is grand. Failure can be noble. Let us overcome the inevitable with giggles and a goofy grin, shall we?

Make failure a gift.

When we fail, we’re often harder on ourselves than we are othersl. So here’s a suggestion. Quit that already! As you would tell another, “it’s okay, you will do better next time,” or “you’ve learned so much from that experience and I’m sure you’ll apply that in the future”. While we can be supportive to the others, we aren’t always giving our self a break.

The-Beauty-of-Failure Give yourself a gift. Make that gift -kindness. Forgo being snarky with yourself. about a past failure. Failing at something is not the same as being a failure. Don’t camp out there. Gift yourself forgiveness. Gift yourself the liberty to move on quickly without drowning in what you coulda, shoulda and woulda done had you known different. Don’t waste time. It is precious, and so are you.

Chime In!

How can you find beauty in failure? Looking back, what clarity or treasure has failure brought into your life? Share with us! We’d love to learn from and celebrate you.

‘Tis a Gift to BE Simple!

This past year as I listened to clients, friends and family I noticed some common themes throughout the conversations. To avoid becoming a Debbie Downer, I began humming a powerful little song I learned while in elementary school. “‘Tis the gift to be simple, ‘Tis the gift to be free…”

You see, the most prevalent common themes of those dialogues were, “I’m overwhelmed, I’m exhausted, I’m financially and/or mentally stressed.” Frankly, it’s too much for so many to bear.

I continue humming as the melody’s lyrics play in my mind. “‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be…” And I begin to question what for. When did our beautiful lives become so stinkin’ complicated?

Why the over-scheduling and under-resting? Why the over-working, and under-playing? Is it worth taking a toll on our well-being, and foregoing what matters most?

The lyrics stream on in my consciousness.

“And when we find ourselves
in the place just right
‘Twill be in the valley
of love and delight.”

Where is this valley of love and delight?

Do you yearn and burn? Let me explain. Do you yearn for something slower-paced, and more meaningful in richness? Do you yearn to be present with those you love more often? Do you burn with passion to pursue a project but somehow circumstances circumvent your vision?

Well it’s time we get our roar on! Rawwwrrrr!

It’s time to reclaim our peace of mind and get on our merry way.

As the sincere lyrics echo in my squirrel cage, I’m not singing loud and proud. “‘Tis the gift to be simple”. YES! A resounding, thundering, boisterous YES! May we BE simple. May we BE free.

“Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be.” Inhale. Breath of fresh air. Sweet humility! It’s past time that we step off the “climb every mountain” bandwagon, and summit the one mountain which views satisfy our soul.

Hope you don’t mind me tossing out some ideas on how we can back out of overwhelm, exhaustion and financial and mental stress. Disclaimer: I don’t have all the answers. What I do know is this. It’s possible to create a better life. The secret isn’t so much about doing more or having more. It’s truly about being– pure and simple.

Allow me to indulge. We need to let go of superfluous stuff padding our agendas; as well as the clutter demanding too much mental or physical space. We need to let go of the idea that we will be better because we are performing. Hogwash! We’re better when we’re actually being fully present with another human.This is where the best breakthroughs, business and relationships happen in human interaction. Period.

Heads up! Soon you’ll be hit with a multitude of motivational messages advising you to get off your butt and make things happen. I’m here to tell that before you traipse off to “slay it”, first ask yourself who do I want to become? Then, my friend, you really will slay it, own it, do it, be it. 😉

Let’s not be driven to react to a long list of things to do, or jam-packed schedules. Instead let’s hit the pause button and ask, “Who do I want to BE in order to create a more simple and free life, for myself, and those dearest to me?” Let’s rise above the noise. Let’s lead ourselves powerfully. We’ll divinely know when to let go of projects, ideas, and routines that exhaust us rather than replenish us.

It’s always first things first.

We get to decide what really matters. Let’s be wise. Others will always have their own agendas for us. It’s our responsibility to make sure that the agenda we follow is our God-given life purpose. If not, we’ll feel a gnawing lack of fulfillment– and it won’t be pretty!

The “be simple challenge”

Identify and write down possible causes that evoke overwhelm, exhaustion, and financial and mental stress. Did you do it? I promise that writing it down can help bring awareness. Once we’re aware of what’s eating our lunch we can better address it with our “Plan Be.”

Perhaps you’ve concluded that you’re taking on too much? Professional plate spinner is not a title you want on your resume. Me neither. Maybe you realize you need to dedicate time to rest or rejuvenate in play in order to fan the flames of intentional living. Or perhaps you’ve discovered subscribing to eighty-five newsletters is outrageous for any enlightened human being no matter how fast a reader you are.

Whatever you discern, know this– I’m rooting for you. I’m against today’s cultural norm of overwhelm. I say give peace a chance! Adios exhaustion, self-care and the permission to unwind and be kind is granted. Societal status quo of financial and mental stress, good riddance! I vote for acting like the abundant and worthy beings we already are.

Here’s to ditching long to-do lists and burning the candle at both ends. It’s time to conduct our life and business the way we desire to be. This then, is the true gift to be simple and free.

Go ahead, Chime In!

Share with us in the the comments below. Pinpoint any possible causes creating overwhelm, exhaustion or stress in your life?  Who do you want to be in order to enjoy a more simple and free life?

 

 

Lies About Success and 7 Principles to Guide us to Happiness

We’ve believed lies about success. Most of us are brainwashed to think that success creates happiness. Yet deep down, we all know we get caught chasing the rainbow while forgetting to dance in the rain.

We also know that happiness is more than a yellow smiley face sticker. Happiness is the joy we feel while pursuing our potential. Sadly, happiness is often confused with success. It’s time we put our foot down and address the lies and and enjoy both happiness and success.

Seeing or hearing a message long enough makes it easier to believe. Some lies we fall prey to look or sound like this: I’ll be happier, once I make this promotion. When I finally complete this project, I can be happy. I’ll be happy when I marry the right person. I can truly be happy when I’m making X amount of money. As soon as  I eat that decadent slice of pie, I’ll know what happiness feels like. When I take that exotic trip I can be happy. I’ll be happy as a clam when I fit into those jeans. Does any of this sound familiar?

Why do we postpone happiness until a certain amount of success is achieved?

True confession: I’ve recently had to stop myself from such lies around pursuing success and postponing happiness. I postponed my own happiness while delving deep into a writing project. Even though I know my efforts bring about good; temperance was needed. I was holing myself up to accomplish the goal while rarely leaving the work cave. Isolation set in.

I stopped practicing what I preach. Balancing work and play was on the back burner. For a month, I was a hypocrite. Ironically, not one person even set a time frame for me to complete the work. I was lying to myself about what success must look like based on a self-imposed timeline. I fell for it. As a result, my happiness and well-being plummeted.

Fortunately I caught on and quickly and course-corrected– oh perhaps, over-corrected. You see, I started playing outside so much more that I even worked up a tan. Those of you who know how pasty white I can be will understand this major accomplishment. Tanned and tinkering right back into happiness, I felt fulfillment and contribution as the project was released to fly. Of course, we all know the moral of the story but we often need to remind ourselves of this:

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As I began snapping out of the false belief of successful accomplishments equal happiness, a bright orange book sitting on my bookshelf silently shouted and begged, ” Come get me! Pick me up! Pick me up now.” It was Shawn Anchor’s book, The Happiness Advantage and I strongly recommend it to you. As I read it, my recent “Pursuit of Unhappiness” made complete sense.

I’m quickly outlining the book’s specific, actionable patterns that predict success without losing the happiness. All of it based on research that began inside of Harvard and moved to the outside world. What it shows is that maximizing our brain, can maximize our happiness. Read about it in a nutshell, but trust me, the entire read is well worth it! In fact, it may cause a cathartic experience.

7 Principles to Guide you to the Happiness Groove

The Happiness Advantage

When we capitalize on positivity (feel good, fun, inspiration)  we can increase our performance and productivity. We can actually teach our brains to work from a biological advantage versus one that is negative or neutral.

Happiness does not orbit around success. Happiness is the center, and success revolves around it.

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The Fulcrum and the Lever

This principle teaches us that by changing or adjusting our mindset (the fulcrum) we increase our power (the lever) to be more satisfied and successful.

Look at it like this. Ever hear yourself or someone say, “I have to attend a meeting.”? The “have to” of course, implies the expectation that it will most likely be unenjoyable. Whereas a minor adjustment in the mindset could bring about more happiness. What if we chose to say “I am attending a meeting?” Word choice alone opens opportunity to learn, connect with others and possibly even enjoy the meeting.

Tetris Effect

We set ourselves up for failure when we allow our brains to get stuck in a rut that focuses on stress, negativity and failure. When we retrain the brain to spot possibility, we can see and seize opportunity anywhere.

When our brains constantly scan for the positive, we profit from happiness, gratitude and optimism.

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Failing Up

Teaches us that in spite of failure or suffering, we can learn to be happier or more success because of it. We all face defeat, crisis and stress: our brains can positively guide us to cope and bring about meaning and positive growth.

Our ability to grow from adversity is more than bouncing back, it’s bouncing forward.

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The Zorro Circle

Our rational brains can get emotionally hijacked by overwhelm and challenges. This principle teaches us to draw a small circle in the sand to regain control by focusing first on small bite-size goals and then expanding the circle into achieving greater goals.

On a personal note, after a four-year home remodel, and month-long research and writing project, the Zorro circle has me zeroing in on where I need to gain control and how I can effectively take action so I will not lose joy in the process. Nothing needs to spin out of control. I’m walking out of what became a massively cluttered office and closet by inching out of smaller spaces first and defending those spaces. I’m taking 30 minute a day tasks until it’s done. Then I’ll head to the garage. It’s not as intimidating as previously thought.

20-Second Rule

Long-term change is a challenge for most because we have limited willpower. Often we fall back into old habits and end up on the path of least resistance. The 20- Second rule explains that we can make small energy adjustments and bypass the lower path and replace it with the higher path via good habits.

Let’s take inventory of our many daily habits. Do these habits create happiness or place us in a rut? If habits are like investing money, are my  personalhabits creating positive returns in the years to come?

How can I make the right thing easy to do? Think faster too! Can 20 seconds make a big difference? I think so! Want to permanently reduce your pant size? Have healthy snacks at your fingertips. Prep food in advance so you can quickly access it from the fridge. Keep your sneakers right next to your bed, so first thing in the morning you can complete a workout without fumbling for them.

Social Investment

In the midst of stressful challenges many choose to isolate and hunker down to do what must be done. However, the greatest predictor in happiness and success lies in the social support we find by interacting with friends, family, and peers who help us achieve our greatest potential. We’re meant to thrive in community. When we understand we aren’t the Lone Ranger, we can rise above the cult of mediocrity and shine our brightest gifts.

Chime In! 🙂

Share with us in the comments below, what lie have you believed about success? Or is there a particular principle that beckons your attention today?

 

Wisdom and Sour Grapes

Whether you are an entrepreneur, wellness warrior or both, the factors of wisdom and sour grapes play a role in our lives. Allow me to explain. No one wants to play a fool; and no one wants to eat sour grapes.

Remember Aesop’s Fables?

Perhaps you remember this famous one. The story about the fox that tried in vain to snatch a cluster of grapes dangling from a vine just out of reach. The fox exerted himself jumping as high as he could and quickly concluded within a few attempts that “these grapes are sour, and if I had some I would not eat them.”

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And now you know where the term “sour grapes” originated. How often do we in our business or health journey run into this concept?

Have you ever found yourself like the fox retreating from the grape arbor declaring sour grapes?

Have you ever worked with someone who claims sour grapes? If only we could remember that the far-to-reach are worth a strategic effort.

Like the fox in Aesop’s fable, we humans experience a clash about the knowledge that grapes are tasty except when we can’t reach them. Then we may radically change our attitude toward the grapes to defend our behavior.

Beware of Sour Grapes

Friend, sour grapes can show up like this. We may set out on a health journey that includes a strategy of good nutrition and moderate exercise. Within the first three days we don’t notice any significant changes. We we are extremely hungry, behold! A burger and fries appears right in front of us and we go for it! Then, somehow we question if our new plan was really even making a difference at all. That’s sour grapes.

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In business it can look like this. We sign up for a weekend seminar that promotes goal setting, increasing sales and soaring profits. We attend. We even apply some things we have learned. Two months later we wonder why our influx of income isn’t greater? We begin to suspect the sincerity of those who led the seminar. Maybe everything they do is driven by greed. Beware of sour grapes.

In walks wisdom. But first, what is wisdom?  It is the the ability to discern what is true, right, or lasting. Wisdom expresses itself from experiences, sound judgment and/or actions.

Do this to avoid sour grapes.

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Identify what it is you really desire.

At this moment, what “specific fruit” do you want to enjoy? Ask yourself, is this heart’s desire worth creating a strategy?

Is it worth consistency so you may savor the sweetness of it?

Is it worth the time you spend to enjoy it?

If “yes” is the answer to the three questions, the we are well on our way to savoring sweet success; not sour grapes.

Our world is often a place of instant gratification. We quickly want what we want, when we want it.

We want to be thin ,and yet we want a box of donuts. We want a bigger bank account with not too much work involved, Ironic, no? Yet it’s human nature! It’s also human nature to blame. Let’s not be those people– you know, the ones that blame when little to no effort is made. Let’s not be like the spoiled-sport fox. Let’s rise above it. Let’s own our place in every decision we make. That friend, is the inner workings of wisdom.

Let’s inspect any areas where we or those whose paths we may have crossed, cried “sour grapes,” Take note. Was a specific strategy in place to seize the fruit? Was the strategy being followed consistently within a realistic time frame?

Chime In!

Have you ever felt foolish like the fox and called “sour grapes” to quickly? (Tell me, I’m not I the only one.) In the comments below, tell us, what wisdom did you gain?

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