This past weekend I participated in three hours of top notch personal and business training with the world-renown, Tony Robbins. The first 90 minutes was open to approximately 10,000 people. The second half was an exclusive luncheon where more in-depth training on designing a fulfilled life was awarded to a select few. I was grateful to be there and wanted to bring others along for a possible “fire walk” across coals.

Although the fire walk didn’t happen, I was fastidiously “smoking” notes so I could share this information with as many as I can.

Below are the three most meaty pieces of wisdom I gleaned from that special day. I’m sharing with you because I’m sure it will resonate.

Here’s three “Tony” tips for designing a fulfilled life:

Progress = Happiness

So true! Ever complete a big project and feel like happy dancing? How about reaching your goal weight? Getting the grocery shopping done so you can share a special meal with those you love? Progress is made and enjoyed on small and large scales. Let’s not underestimated this, shall we?

Here’s my happiness increase plan for the day. The smalls. Unpack my suitcase. Juice my favorite recipe. Send out a special email announcing my first online course for Entrepreneurs. And now, for the bigs. Wait a minute. Hold ‘yer horses. That last one was big! It’s been a dream that’s now taking flight. Happy dance! Woot! Woot! AND it’s not just that, but the fact I’m getting three loads of laundry done! Yes!

Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure

That’s seriously good food for thought. How is that so many people hold positions where they make “big bank” but are bored silly or hate what they do? Has this been you or someone you know? Or how about that someone who leaves behind a high paying position to pursue what really fills them up and give them the chance to create what they crave? Perhaps they are hungry for more family time? Less commute? More creativity? Perhaps they wanted less stress? Whatever the reasons, they left a position that most would deem “successful” to avoid feeling a failure. Satisfaction was missing and a change was made.

Maybe you can relate to either end of this spectrum.

Ultimately, I wish you fulfillment while you succeed.

It’s comfort zones we need to avoid, isn’t it? When we desire something beyond the status quo we need to rise up and live completely, fully. This leads me to the next insight gained from Mr. Robbins when he was asked how he helps others overcome fear without experiencing the fire walk. He summarized it by addressing what motivates us.

Fear, Incentives, and Growth

There’s three types of motivation; fear, incentives and growth.

The most effective is growth.

Think about it, as a child you may have been threatened to wash the dishes or else a privilege would be revoked. The fear of losing a privilege created action. Dishes cleaned! It was the motivation we needed so we could play, watch cartoons, or watch movies at a friend’s house. This motivating fear was effective leverage. Long-term fear is not the best motivator, and yet clearly we understand that it can be practical.

Incentives provide a warm, fuzzy feeling type of motivation. I personally like incentives. As a kid I’d rush to make my bed just to hear the praises of my mother. As an adult, I’ve fallen in love with experiences and travel. I’ve been known to work harder for award trips to places like Bora Bora or Switzerland than earning an extra $400,000 (not that I am opposed to either).

When we discover what incentives motivate, we can support others in maximizing effectiveness in action. While incentives can be great for a season, there may come a time one is so saturated with “awards” like world travel that they hunger for something more, something deeper.

This type of motivation that drives us is growth! For the long-term and a deep sense of satisfaction, growth is considered the most effective motivation because it makes us FEEL ALIVE! I 100% whole-heartedly agree!

Don’t we feel the most alive when we can grow as a person and help others grow and transform their own lives?

It’s no wonder that great leaders are servants.

And those who are real standouts are sold out to the idea of serving others. They go beyond simple presentation of an idea or product. They want to leave the world a better place.

There you have it friends, insider wisdom from my lunch spent with Tony Robbins. I hope you find it beneficial. I know I did. Oh, by the way, I bet you are happier now, as you’ve made progress simply by reading this article. Celebrate it. And here’s to you having more fulfilling successes!

Join me in the conversation.

Share in the comments below what things most motivate you nowadays? Or dish out what progress you’ve made lately that brings happiness?