pursuit of happiness Archives

We’ve all heard the phrase “I’m just staying true to myself”. Am I right?

Is it just me, or have you ever wanted to counter this possible excuse with, so are you really staying true to yourself? Let me explain. While staying true to oneself is honorable, there are times we can cleverly cloak a cop out by using the ‘ol “I’ll stay true to myself” phrase.

How to Recognize a Clever Excuse

It’s classic and easy to identify.

You, or someone you know walked away from a goal or dream without a fight. I’m not talking about a short sabbatical to refuel and go at it again. I’m talking about completely quitting the race.

Imagine if you will, hearing about someone’s goals, dreams or visions with excitement. Imagine watching them make baby steps toward the fulfillment of those goals. Imagine getting behind this individual and cheering and encouraging them on only to have them share something like the following: “I’ve decided to take another route. I’m simply wanting to stay true to who I am.” HOGWASH! You’ve got to be kidding? We’re invested in the fulfillment of this goal/dream. For crying out loud, don’t go down without a fight!

Now more than ever, is the time to press in and stay true… to oneself, one’s vision, one’s dreams.

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Why it Happens

Excuses happen. However, this need not be you. We need to be on the look out for WHY it happens.

The pursuit of happiness can:

be challenging and difficult for a season.
require something (grit, skill) that has not been previously accomplished.
imply the need to humble oneself and become re-educated to obtain the vision.
reveal that failure/rejection play a part in the learning process.
lead us to dump poor habits and embrace good habits.
become more disciplined and consistent.

Beware of the Banana Peels

We all have situations and circumstances that challenge our tenacity to stay true to who we are. Banana peels are the situations and circumstances that may cause us to slip and take us away from our once clear path.

There are ways to shut down excuses. There are also ways to stay true to our self without forfeiting dreams be it health or entrepreneurial in nature.

The following are tips to remain true blue to good ‘ol you.

Assess the situation- Have you thrown in the towel? Are you pursuing your dreams with consistent dedication? Do you feel excited about the steps you are taking?
Determine what actions to take- If you hit a bump in the road, it’s easy to say just keep trucking. But what if a tire flew off? This requires a new plan of action to take to get back on the road. Sometimes this requires a different perspective.
Ask for help- Any great achiever will tell you they had help along the way. It’s not a weakness. In fact, it can become like a secret weapon for overcoming. A derailment from a dream can be humbling, but what’s devastating is the fact that it can be done but life happened and nothing really changed when all along help was available.
Accountability- The concept of accountability isn’t always the most popular. When it’s taken seriously, accountability reminds us of exactly who we are and what it is we desire to achieve in this lifetime. Accountability helps us walk the path to fulfillment so once we reach the top, we’re not alone. In fact, there’s a community with whom to celebrate.

Chime In!

Have you come across other clever excuses that sound legit yet don’t best serve someone staying true to him or herself? What is it?

Dreams are birthed when goals are set.

When it comes to goals, I propose we make conscious decisions that guide us so we feel fully alive. Let’s set them around our priorities, using clear communication and tenacity. All the while pursuing happiness.

We desire more than mere profits in our pocketbook. We truly desire to profit in our soul, not that we’re closed to outrageous financial blessings. We’d rather cast away what bankrupts our bodies and dashes our dreams by courageously stepping beyond the ordinary and embracing the extraordinary– it’s who we are.

Addressing Overwhelm

Most of the minutes in our day are taken. My question is, are those minutes planned out according to our priorities or are existing programs running the plans?

Is it time to draw a line in the sand? To march to our own drum? Reset the music to what causes our heart to dance?

Every December many resolutions or goals are set with high hopes for the new year. At times, we even avoid setting goals altogether.

What will be different this time? If you’ve set year-end goals, resolutions or intentions, will you and I really complete it? If you haven’t planned something for yourself, why not?

While I’ve been able to accomplish several big, audacious goals in my life, please allow me to speak into yours. I’ve ~~failed~~ learned boatloads while attempting great feats. Some years I’ve dazzled myself. Other years I was dumbfounded as to what I may dare next. As such, I avoided setting any goal. By the way, I don’t recommend that.

Here’s how you can address possible overwhelm. Don’t try to accomplish 50 amazing things in a small amount of time. Instead, pick one or two audacious goals. Do this to build character. Avoid running yourself ragged or trying to prove anything to anyone. Do this for you because it lights you up. Because you believe things can and should be better. Pursue goals because it develops you as an even more incredible person.

We live in a performance based culture. I suggest we avoid the churn and burn performances and go for a planned out passionate pursuit to reach a goal. In the end, it’s about becoming and being who you really are and being glad you did it. It’s about buffing out the dull lackluster of life and shimmying out the shine. It’s you– leading your own revolution. No regrets.

Opening opportunities for clarity of communication and the old turtle trick

Absolutely no

In a daunting world of jump faster. Jump higher! Do more! Be more! I’m shouting from the mountaintops, “Say no to everything that’s not leading you toward more peace, purpose, or truly profiting your soul.

We make meaningful progress when we give our self permission to say no.

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No isn’t always easy. Learning to say no and how to say no has been a real challenge for me primarily because I absolutely love people and enjoy making them happy.

Quickly reach an absolute no by being clear and acting on your priorities. If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t stuff your foot in; simply say no. If the request resonates with the life you choose to create, then it’s a blow the trumpet, sound the alarms, YES!

So how do you say no politely? Especially when saying no to a good cause when it doesn’t align with your overall principle/desires?

Here’s some tips in how to say and mean no graciously.

No thank you.

I’m unable to commit to that. I appreciate your vote of confidence.

I’m so flattered you’ve asked. However, my answer needs to be no.

I believe I can give you what you’re asking for in about in a 15 minute call. Want to set a time and date? If not, I’ll need to decline.

I’ve chosen to no longer continue placing my energy on “this” as I’m now focusing more time on “that”.

No, I can’t. I made plans to stay home and file my toenails and floss the cat. (Seriously, try this one for laughs.)

Sound the alarms YES!

I dare you to make every yes you speak align with who you are and what you feel you have been put on this earth to do.

I dare you to take quick inventory, gut check or visual tour of your written priorities. And when you say yes, it ushers you to more opportunity and deep contentment.

Say yes to what fills you up– develops you into being a better human, thrills you, challenges you and makes you increase your faith!

Graciously poo poo life’s mediocre callings with a confident no. Do yourself a favor and proudly stand up for the extraordinary with a resounding, yes.

Stay on Target with your Goal Setting

The simplicity of saying yes or no may seem insulting and yet it holds tremendous power to define the future. Our ability to make a decision and act on it out is paramount for staying on target with our goal setting. Friend, it’s less about an arduous journey and more about enjoying the smaller steps that empower us to complete the goal. When distractions happen or mistakes are made, let’s allow our priorities to guide us back to the target.

When set backs happen simply waltz back into the pursuit of happiness.

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Don’t waste anytime lamenting. Return to why you chose to do what you’re doing in the first place and regain your momentum.

Tenacity wins

It’s not always talent that creates winners. It’s tenacity. Think Aesop’s fable about the tortoise and the hare. Steadfast with heart and slow from the start or cocky, quick and easily distracted– which would we rather be?

I believe our deepest desire is to create results that we can look back on in the years to come and say, “I’m so glad I did it! I persevered. I stayed the course! I learned so much about life. My character was developed. I’m satisfied and this win feels so great.”

Chime in!

What will you say no to this year? What are you saying yes to? Did you fulfill a big goal last year? Go ahead, toot your horn! Or how about sharing what you great feat you plan to accomplish this year? Share your inside scoop with us in the comments below.

Tag Archives: pursuit of happiness

When Staying True to Yourself Becomes an Excuse