2017 was not the banner year I had planned for. Quite frankly, it’s been less than stellar and yet it’s soaring highs cannot be overlooked. It’s lessons remain powerful. When so much does not make sense, I reach for three things, God, humor and a bottle of tequila. No, actually the third is friendship. I’m kidding about the tequila. 🙂
Lesson: Avoid the Status Quo
Last January my husband and I bought raw land in the Sierra Madre mountains of beautiful Mexico. I believe the proper word for this land is a “farm”. Yes, folks, we bought the farm! 😉 In fact, we grew a bumper crop of organic corn. I mentioned “we”, but honestly I had very little to do with its productivity. Consider me “quality control”. You see, I taste tested the end product, and you know what? It was a great success. We’ve concluded that this fertile soil and land that rested for over 20 years needs something more. We’re convinced that it’s simply not more corn, but rather more variety and wisdom because honestly, we’re learning as we go.
While we are learning from the environment, our neighbors, and experts, there is this place in our hearts that beckons us to listen more closely. The message is this: the current status quo of our farming style and real abundance must be challenged. And so, we’re humbling ourselves to the weeds that choke out life because our vision includes growing more than just plants.
Lesson: People Don’t Mean to Let you Down so Love Them Anyway
Challenging times happen. While you may be the one who often times shows up for others, it’s possible others may not show up the same way. However, it’s important to know the law of reciprocity is still at work! It simply shows up in different ways.
In the past year, I endured tumultuous times. Often, the people who encouraged or consoled me most were ones with whom I’d had much of a lasting relationship. Yet, they were the ones whom God sent to comfort me. They are the gifts I will treasure from this year. The words they spoke or wrote to me, the hugs shared, the smiles; these were true gifts of human kindness. Kindness that is deeply appreciated. Therefore, I’m choosing to give space in my heart to those who could not show up, or perhaps didn’t know how to show up when I needed them most. These are expectations that are often unfair to place on another. The lesson I’ve learned this year, is to love what’s provided for me in kindness through those I least expect while still loving those who let me down. Because in the end, I’m human too.
Years ago I remember reading The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. These are some of the words that stuck:
“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”
Much of last year was refining, deepening and strengthening me. It was a hellacious year, and yet it’s been a year of beauty and growth.
Deep sorrow and pain were felt and released to a God who loves us so.
I risked looking a fool for the adventure of being alive.
I kept good company with myself and other strong beings overcoming life’s obstacles.
In short, I’ll continue leaning into gratitude, holding onto humor, and loving imperfectly perfect humans we call friends.
Will you join me?
Cheers to 2017! And here’s to 2018!
Chime In!
I sincerely want to hear from you! What one very valuable lesson or lessons did you live out this past year? I want to know! Anything you plan to do differently in the upcoming year?
Yes… this year was a doosie! I’ve learned mostly that I’ve got to take care of myself! Things will not fall apart if I do, but will, if I dont. Not sure what all 2018 will bring, but I’m ready.
So happy to hear from you Paige Hughes! And I’m also glad to know you have learned how important it is to take care of yourself. Please do! You’re such a gem.
Paige, this is beautiful… raw and painful, as I relate, but so beautiful. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for being so real and sharing it all with us; the good, the bad and the “hellacious”.
I’ve been thinking a lot about a movie lately, that I saw many years ago. I wasn’t ready for its message at the time, but it comes back to me over and over again lately. I finally get it. The movie is “Shadowlands”, the story of C.S. Lewis and his wife, “Joy”, played by Anthony Hopkins and Debra Winger.
“Why love if losing hurts so much. I have no answers anymore, only the life I have lived. Twice in that life I have been given the choice. As a boy and as a man. The boy chose safety, the man chooses suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”
The hard times that refine, deepen and strengthen us ARE part and parcel of beauty and growth. Like labor and child birth.
And when our Faith is questioned because the mountain before us is not removed…
“I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God. It changes me.” – C.S. Lewis (Shadowlands)
Your words bring such life to me! Thank you for the beautiful comments, Bee! 🙂
What lessons came my way in 2017? Many! I’m learning to take off my “special” hat that I have worn for the past 45 years in my working careers and lay it down for another season called retirement. I’m also learning that being human is a much better place to be than living in a dehumanized state; watching myself and others unfold dysfunctional behaviors and experiencing how good it feels to function as true selves and not be driven by a false self. I’ve learned that I can do what I think is best for someone else and lose myself in the process. I’ve learned that God loves me unconditionally, but how do I love God? Am I as persuaded in His silence that He has me in His care, or more so when His favor is obvious? I’ve got more work to do in 2018 in being kinder to myself and others, and in trusting and loving God unconditionally. I’ve learned that I do not always know what to do. I’ve learned how to really make amends. I’ve been reminded that there are places that are better and worse than where I live so appreciate where I am living. I’ve seen first hand that if I do not stop and think first, decisions can be costly so I need to stop and think first, and be humble enough to listen to God and others. I can change, and we need each other😊🙏💖 Thank you Paige for the opportunity to reflect and share. I hope that 2018 is one of health, love and favor and much less acts of evil in the world.
Bonnie, your words inspire because what I see is an insight-filled and engaged woman taking herself on! You are truthful and courageous! I wish you great progress in 2018 and always. Thank you for sharing your heart!